“A Hole the Size of a Cheerio”
Zoe, 16, has cornered her mom in the kitchen to argue — with full legal seriousness — for permission to get a nose ring. She has prepared her case. She has also, it turns out, already scheduled it.
Okay — before you say no, can I present my case? A full case. You’re always saying I don’t think things through, so watch me think this all the way through.
It’s a nose ring. Not a tattoo, not a moped, nothing permanent. A tiny gold hoop the size of a Cheerio, forty dollars, which I have, from babysitting the Nolans’ demon children all summer.
Grandma pierced her ears — scandalous, in nineteen-sixty-whatever. You had the belly-button era, Mom, I have seen the photos, the crop tops were not subtle. Every generation gets one small hole. This is mine.
And — don’t be mad — I may have already booked a consultation. Saturday. The clean place, the one with the good reviews. Because I was going to do this with you, or, historically, without you. And I really, really want it to be with you.
So. Ten o’clock Saturday. You hold my hand, I might cry, you bring the good snacks. What do you say?
How to Play It
Objective: get Mom’s yes. Zoe is running a real negotiation and thinks she’s being extremely mature about it — that self-seriousness is the comedy.
The turn: “I may have already booked a consultation.” She overplays her hand, and the confident lawyer suddenly needs her mom on her side. The last line turns a demand into an invitation.
Play a real, likable kid — not a brat. The want underneath (do this together, not in a fight) is sincere, which keeps it charming instead of obnoxious. Talk to Mom as a specific person, and let her silent reactions land the beats.
Who it suits: a teen actor with quick, bright energy and comic confidence. A clean, age-appropriate one-minute comedic piece for the huge “monologues for teens” demand.
Want Will to Coach You Through It?
A monologue is a two-person scene where the other person never speaks. Working it 1-on-1 with a working actor is the fastest way to make it land.